[amsat-bb] FW: [PNWVHFS] Egad ! "Solar Cycle 24 Canceled - Ham Radio OperatorsFurious"

Sat Aug 23 18:46:49 PDT 2008

to lighten your day
73 Bob W7LRD

--
"if this were easy, everyone would be doing it"

-------------- Forwarded Message: -------------- 
From: n6ze at aol.com 
To: PNWVHFS at googlegroups.com 
Subject: [PNWVHFS] Egad ! "Solar Cycle 24 Canceled - Ham Radio OperatorsFurious" 
Date: Sun, 24 Aug 2008 00:13:22 +0000 

Printed from: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i39491

Solar Cycle 24 Canceled - Ham Radio Operators Furious
Written by drugtestallpoliticians

Dayton, Ohio (IPP) - The next solar cycle was assigned the number 24 but has

been canceled by the International Astronomical Union (IAU). Scientists were

able to predict that this cycle would have been 30% to 50% stronger than the

previous solar cycle and it would have started a year later than previously 
thought.

Scientists have been unable to accurately predict the intensity of future 
solar cycles until recent times. All of that changed recently when the 
Predictive Flux-transport Model was developed and put into effect. This new 
method is thought to be 98% accurate.

Dr. Povenmire Finootch of the Mount Palomar Astronomical Campus and the 
senior legal representative of the IAU takes full responsibility for 
canceling the next solar cycle and has a black eye to show for it. He 
recently got into a scrap with the head of the North American Ham Radio 
League, Brent Brookski over the canceling of solar cycle 24. Dr. Finootch 
claims that the IAU has complete authority over anything related to the 
visible as well as the invisible portions of the electromagnetic spectrum.

Ham operators take advantage of the increase in solar electromagnetic 
activity by bouncing radio signals off of the ionosphere to each other in 
the form of radio waves which are transmited via upper and lower sideband 
and cw ( continous wave or morse code). When the solar cycle is in full 
swing it is possible for a Ham operator in North America to talk to his 
counterpart in New Zealand using a mere 5 watts.

Dr. Povenmire Finootch admits that he has a black eye but that nevertheless 
he had thoroughly throttled his opponent during a fist fight they had during

the Gay Ham Operator's Convention (GHAC) in Key West last week. The two had 
become embroiled in a fierce argument over whether or not the IAU had any 
business sticking its nose into the business of Ham operators and this 
argument evolved into fisticuffs to the delight of nearby bar patrons.

Dr. Povenmire Finootch seemed to go over the edge when Brookski claimed that

Dr. Finootch would not know the the difference between Ohm's Law vs Kepler's

Law if it "bit him on the ass". Dr. Finootch replied, "Neither would you 
then !" Dr. Finootch did not realize that the Ham operator had a well 
concealed "hair lip" under his moustache and the Ham operator was equally 
unaware that Dr. Finootch had a wooden eye. The Ham operator had responded 
by saying, Woudn't I, Wouldn't I" to which Doctor Finootch had replied, " 
Hair lip, hair lip !" And thus the fight was on.

Printed from: http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s5i39491

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